I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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