So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
