I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
