I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
