Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
