i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize