I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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