and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
