i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
