U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
