He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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