mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
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