arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
