how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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