So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I will die if light touches me.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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