"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Panties = found
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