the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
