Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The power of my boobs compel you
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize