Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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