So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
