Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
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