therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
