Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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