Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize