i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
