Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
