It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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