none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The uberlube is also flammable
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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