naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
