You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
