D3 body, D1 cock
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The feeling are messing with the penis
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
