We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
