so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize