At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
