my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
