she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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