they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
