I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
