dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am midnight drunk by noon
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
