She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just threw up on my dentist
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This is the high leading the old right now
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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