but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
