I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Found the puke drawer
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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