I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
