I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
