well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I met the friendliest cop last night
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
