What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience