it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller