Someone shit on the floor
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So was this before or after he cried about trump?