I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online