Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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