Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
