The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
