Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
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I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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