would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I came so hard my ears popped.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
