Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize