that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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