At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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