You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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