Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I could fuck to npr.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
