Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
