there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
