I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
