We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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