Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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