we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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