My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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